Sunday, May 1, 2011

Osama Been Gone

BREAKING NEWS:

Tonight, the White House announced that the US Military has possession of the body of Al Quaeda's mastermind Osama Bin Laden. He was killed in a mansion outside Islamabad, Pakistan with his family inside as well on April 24th, 2011 (around a week ago). DNA was used to determine his identity, after a covert ground attack. There are no reports on how many other key terrorists leaders have been killed; President Obama is set to give more information in the East Room shortly.

It appears that President Barack Obama and his administration was primarilly in charge of the operation, and a "fire fight" ultimately brought him, down. The operation was taken over by "US Military Assets"; and Obama said America would fight for its citizens "relentlessly."

Crowds are outside the White House chanting "USA. USA. USA."

In fear of a retaliation by Al Quaeda, military bases and much of the government buildings in the United States and abroad are being put on full alert.

Ron Shelby
Chief News Correspondent

EMMANUEL DELFIN'S BOTTOM OF THE PAGE:
-FOX NEWS's Gerrardo Rivera just accidentally said, "Obama was dead."
-A mansion in Pakistan?! Really?! They let him live in a mansion?
-It appears he has been dead for a while...where is he?
-It took 10 years to kill him...I have no punch line, cuz this is a joke.

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